Working Attachment Mothers. Marji. Excerpt from Immaculate Deception 2. By Suzanne Arms

Marji.
Exerpt from “Immaculate Deception 2” Myth, Magic & Birth.
By Suzanne Arms.

Marji is a physician instructor at a family practice residency program in New York. When she made the decision to breastfeed, as a full time working mother, it was partly because both she and her husband had been bottle fed babies and both of them had a history of allergies. Breastfeeding her baby made her life much more complicated since she had to find a way to do it while continuing her teaching schedule. She has breastfed all four of her children throughout their infancy.

My husband and I used to call it demand feeding. Mommy demands that baby eat according to mommy’s schedule. Luckily some kids will tolerate being put on someone else’s routine. I arranged for a baby sitter who lived near the hospital, and she would either bring my baby to me for feeding or I’d go to her house, -depending on whether I had a lunch meeting or not. I would feed the baby in the morning before I left for the hospital. She’d give him a bottle of breast milk in the middle of the day, then I would feed him again around six, and again later in the evening.

Residents saw me teaching and nursing a baby at the same time. Sometimes I also had to give additional seminars around the six o’clock feeding. It became accepted around here that nursing babies could be part of the program.

My last kid was only four pounds at birth and could not adapt to my schedule. She really needed to nurse every one and a half to two hours. So I brought her to work with me. I always asked patients’ permission when I was in the clinic. to have her there. Almost no one objected. My daughter was in a bassinet in my office for several months, until she was able to tolerate an extended period of time between feedings.

I would not recommend this ordinarily, but in order to work - which I needed to do- and feed my child the way she needed, I had no choice. It would have been very difficult to do this in a hospital that didn’t support me.

I had many patients, teenage girls especially, who commented that seeing me talk to them while I breastfed made them see how important breastfeeding is and that it didn’t need to tie you down. At that point I wasn’t even thinking of the positive impact it might have on patients. I was just surviving.

Most of my collegues were just glad to have me back seeing patients, even if it was in a slightly preposterous capacity. I think it made a big difference here. Within the department, people now often bring their older kids to work, especially for lunchtime or evening meetings. They bring young children and they breastfeed their babies. It’s accepted. But I didn’t do it to make people change. I had a life to lead and kids to feed, and I wasn’t willing to make compromises about the well-being of my kids.