Birth pregnancy and depression. Unassisted birth. Anonymous

Unassisted Birth

I was "overdue" and having a hard time with the doctors wanting to induce me. They had actually contacted the PMI about me somewhere about 1  week after the estimated due date (EDD). Knowing that a file was open on me there, I decided that I couldn't use the ignore method of dealing with the doctors anymore. I called them and went in about two weeks after the EDD. After arguing with them, I managed to put induction talks off to three weeks after the EDD, if I agreed to NST every 48 hours until then. The baby lookedgood in the testing they did that day.

During the next day, I decided that I couldn't just wait around for the induction deadline. My first thought was to flee. I contacted the well-known natural birthing hospitalin our country but they didn't have space to take me. We talked about the nearest places we could go and getting there. Reality said we couldn't get anywhere. So, I decided to order some homeopathic items at the pharmacy. I had serious doubts that the head doctor would be willing to wait to see if these would work after the induction deadline, which meant I would have to try to get something going before then.

Two days later, we again went in for NST. The baby looked good, I was 3 cm dilated, and the fluid was clear in an amnioscopy. DH, (my husband) and I decided we were going to try to get things started that evening. I talked to a midwife back home about how much of the homeopathic items to take and the frequency. We put in a DVD babysitter for a dose of prostaglandins and then I started taking the homeopathic items while DH prepared dinner. I was tired after dinner, so I left DH with the dishes and went up to bed.

Somewhere between 2:30 and 3:00 am, I woke up with some cramping.  After a while of sitting up and moving around in bed, I decided to go downstairs. Went to the bathroom and thought I might have had what could be considered emptying, but didn't think it was enough and didn't have any nausea to go with it. Joined DH in the kitchen. We talked about whether real labor was starting and what we should be doing. I'm a bit foggy on the exact order of things from there. I know I decided that I should eat something since it had been 6 or 7 hours since dinner. And I know I decided I should start drinking some raspberry leaf tea. DH started pureeing some soup and put a kettle on. He got me a cup of cold nettle tea that I had prepared a couple of days before. I drank the nettle tea and things got more intense.  After a bit, I
started shaking with each rush. I told myself each time that I was opening up, I would have my baby finally, and everything was going to be fine. I pictured the image of Sheela-na-gig in my head. DH abandoned the soup and tea to hold me during rushes. I decided that I wanted to go sit in the tub, so we went together out to the bathroom. DH started cleaning and preparing the tub, while I sort of made an attempt to help. As the tub was being filled, I went to the bathroom but got up to see the toilet water was bloody. I looked at my undies and there was some blood in them, but only an amount that could be considered "show". The blood in the toilet was a different story.  I told DH that we should telephone the midwife to see what we should do and where to find the book with her number in it. He went to get it once
he had put me in the tub and came back to phone her. The midwife was on another line. I guess that I said that I felt like pushing then, but I don't quite remember that. I remember trying to not push very much because I knew that with my first child (DC#1), I had started pushing too early. But my body was really doing what it wanted to do.

A short time after, the midwife called us back. I hung up with her and had DH call her so that it would be on our bill. When I got back on the phone with her, I didn't even have time to tell her the reason for the phone call. I reached down to feel the bag of waters bulging.  They broke a few moments later. I felt the baby's head and burning against my perineum in the same spot I had torn with DC#1. I threw down the phone and started trying to slow down the baby's descent.  I told myself that I was opening up and that I was not going to tear because I was going to get big, so big. I pictured Sheela-na-gig. I told the baby that everything was going to be okay. I applied pressure to the perineum area and the baby somehow shot out. Literally. There was no pause after crowning.

DH somehow managed to catch our baby since I obviously had not managed to do it myself as I had planned. I sat in the corner of the tub as DH handed the baby to me. I asked him if the midwife was still on the phone and he said he had hung it up. I had him call her back. He
handed me the phone and she knew that we had our baby. That's when we looked to see the sex. The midwife congratulated me and said that the cry sounded good. In talking later, we decided it had to be very close to 5:00 am when she was born. We had probably only been out of bed for an hour and a half.

This is where the story gets very different from most unattended childbirth's (UC) because of living in unnatural birthing France.  DH and I asked each other what we should do after our bb's birth and I said that we should go get the next-door neighbor who is a doctor.  I got off the phone with the midwife and DH took a couple of photos of the baby and I. Then he thought we should get out of the tub so that we wouldn't get too cold. When I stood up, a bunch of blood came out. I had DH grab a chux pad for me to stand on and then told him to go get a bowl.  The one he brought back and placed beneath my legs wasn't the one I
wanted, but there wasn't time to get a different one because the placenta pretty much fell out immediately after he set it down. I sat down on the bowl while DH went to get the neighbour doctor.

When DH came back, he said the doctor wasn't home but that his wife was coming. We looked at the baby and kissed each other while we waited for her. Then DH went to the front of the house, in case she couldn't find us. When she got there, she moved me off the bowl I was squatting over and onto the toilet. We talked a little bit with her about whether we should just wait for 8am and call one of the other nearby
doctors and other alternatives. She thought we should telephone SAMU, so DH called them. I asked her the time and it was 5:15 am. DH came back in and said SAMU couldn't get hold of the ambulance service, so they were contacting the fire department. The neighbour said she would go back to her house so we could have a few moments together. DH decided to empty the tub and clean up the bathroom some. He also took a few more photos of us.

When the fire department arrived, I suddenly wished they hadn't come.  There were 6 or so of them. Two just stayed in front of the house with their ambulance and other vehicle.
The woman near me in the bathroom smelled like an ashtray. The nurse was a man. He lightly suctioned my baby's nose and the woman took my blood pressure. The nurse clamped the cord and gave DH a sterile scalpel to cut the cord. They wanted to open a vein on me but I declined. Then a doctor arrived and my daughter and I left with them in the ambulance.
DH would wake up DC#1 and they would meet us at the hospital. In the ambulance, I refused an IV and an open vein a few more times. On the way to the hospital, we picked up a midwife and I got to explain the UC to her.

At the hospital, I declined a lot more interventions. They dressed my baby and put her in an incubator next to me. Then, while examining me (no tears or skid marks), they took her away to weigh her. I was really unhappy about that. It took longer than I thought weighing
should take. The nurse who took her away said that when she went to weigh her, she had pooped and had to take care of that also. This nurse later gave me the insert of the eye drops they wanted to put in her eyes, so I'm hoping the best that she was honest and my daughter
didn't get drops without my knowing it. I really liked the pediatrician who examined her and don't think he would have done anything without my consent.

By the time we were taken to a room, DH and DC#1 had arrived. They didn't stay very long because of construction noise and it being very hot in the hospital. DC#1 liked meeting the baby and we nursed in tandem for the first time.
We agreed that they would come back that evening to pick us up. The woman in the room with me had been asking to leave for 3 days without success, but no one tried to tell me I couldn't leave that evening. Arrangements were made for a nurse to come to our house the next day and they gave me the materials needed for the PKU test the next week.

Even though I would have liked to have just got cleaned up and snuggled into the bed with my new little one after the birth, I'm glad that we called SAMU and went to the hospital because it has made our life a bit easier. Since it was the fire department that came, our mayor's office learned about the birth and will be doing a birth certificate for us. This has been a problem in France when parents go against the norm and have their babies outside of a hospital. I'm hoping that the PMI will close our file faster this way also. We'll see how that goes. And even though my daughter was taken from me once, I was able to protect both of us from many interventions that would have occurred if she had been born in a hospital. I know our birthing experience could have never been as easy or as fast as it was if it had occurred outside of the comforts of our home.

Anonymous